


Please Come Back

by fen-ha-fuck-you (abldav)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, F/M, brief mention of swords doing what swords do but it's like one line, it's all angst folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-25
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-13 14:46:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14750885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abldav/pseuds/fen-ha-fuck-you
Summary: Clarke was acting weird.Not weird like jumping out of the rover before it came to a full stop to help an injured grounder. Not weird like making grim jokes about their impending doom. Just… weird.A.K.A. 5x05 inspired bellarke angst, you're welcome





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title from [Come to This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64o_fT3OI3g) by Natalie Taylor

Clarke was acting weird.

Not weird like jumping out of the rover before it came to a full stop to help an injured grounder. Not weird like making grim jokes about their impending doom. Just… weird. 

Octavia begrudgingly agreed to let Echo stay in the bunker: a feat Bellamy only achieved with Clarke’s help. Octavia had been on the brink of kicking  _ all _ of them out when Clarke pulled her aside. They’d had an intense, hushed conversation before returning, his sister’s penetrating glare never leaving Echo as she made the proclamation they could stay. _ For now _ . 

Bellamy looked at Clarke questioningly as she made her way back over to them.  _ What did you say? _ Her eyes locked onto his only long enough for her to shake her head— _ not now _ —before returning her gaze to the Red Queen. 

That was almost a week ago.

Clarke rarely entered the bunker, only venturing inside for food or water, or a brief conversation with a friend. She seemed to prefer sleeping in the rover.

One morning Bellamy went outside just before dawn to talk to her, only to find the rover—and his best friend—gone. A brief flash of panic had shot through him before he caught sight of tire treads in the dust.  _ She’s real _ . 

Bellamy slowly made his way back into the bunker, making a mental list of supplies he would need to go after her. He passed what was now a sparring room on his way back to his bunk, catching a glimpse of Madi’s braids swinging as she twirled, a sword held inexpertly in her hands.

“Hey,” he said gently, unsure if she was expecting company. She grinned brightly at him. 

“Hi, Bellamy. Octavia’s gonna help me train!”

Bellamy tried and failed to hide a grimace. If she noticed, she said nothing.

“I just went outside to talk to Clarke, but the rover’s gone. Did she tell you where she was going?”

A strange look passed over the girl’s face. She bit down on her lower lip, looking around the room. Before she could say anything, Octavia brushed past him into the room. 

“Leave,” she commanded, not bothering to look at him.

Bellamy rolled his eyes.

“Be careful,” he said, not entirely sure which girl he was addressing. 

“She’ll be back,” Madi said, giving him a look that told him that was all he was going to get from her. 

A small ball of warmth bloomed in his chest, and he gave her a small smile before turning and leaving. As much as it hurt to think of Clarke only having one person to be there for her for six years, the loyalty and love Madi had for her was unmistakable. So at least there was that.

Around an hour later, Bellamy entered the cafeteria to grab breakfast and stopped cold in his tracks. Clarke was back, just as Madi said she’d be, but that wasn’t what threw him off. 

She was sitting with their friends. Talking. Laughing. 

Bellamy forced himself to bite back sudden tears. He leaned against the wall behind him, a sharp breath bursting from his lungs. 

Clarke hadn’t spoken to him in days. It was killing him.

He missed her. She was right here, _alive_ , and he missed her. Bellamy had thought she was dead for six years. He had mourned her, carried her memory on his back the entire time. _Somehow_ _this is worse_.

He stood there for what seemed like an eternity, an anguished look on his face. He felt more than a little creepy watching his best friend, his partner, smiling, laughing,  _ alive _ . But he didn’t know what else to do. He knew that as soon as she saw him, her smile would drop, her eyes would harden, and then she’d leave again. 

Bellamy hadn’t even noticed Echo was missing from the table until she approached it hesitantly, her fingers tightening on her food tray. He barely acknowledged the wave of guilt that washed over him as he took in the scene.

He couldn’t see Echo’s face from this angle, her back to him, as she gently placed her tray at the seat opposite Clarke. She didn’t sit, not yet.

She must have said something, because Clarke slowly raised her head, her eyes raising to meet Echo’s. The rest of their friends watched the exchange with their shoulders tensed, no doubt hoping Clarke would accept Echo just as they had.

Clarke studied her for a moment, and Bellamy recognized the look of soft determination on her face when she nodded her head, a small smile on her lips. 

The group let out a collective breath as Echo sat. 

Clarke moved to grab her fork, but Echo stopped her, her hand on Clarke’s wrist. She looked up, her eyes wide. Bellamy shifted when he saw Clarke’s other hand slowly moving inside her jacket where he knew she kept a hunting knife strapped to her waist. 

Whatever Echo said next made Clarke’s brows furrow and her shoulders relax. 

Clarke’s eyes dropped from Echo’s, landing somewhere near her chin instead. Her bottom lip trembled and she took a deep breath, her eyes filling with tears. She met Echo’s gaze again, nodding with a strained smile as she pulled her wrist away from Echo’s grip. 

Harper looked between the two, then over at Bellamy. He met her pained stare and straightened.

Clarke stood from the table, her meal all but forgotten, and took several steps before turning back and stopping next to Echo. She said something Bellamy still couldn’t hear as Echo listened, a confused look on her face.

Echo’s lips pressed into a thin line for a moment before the two women nodded at each other and Clarke made her way to the door. 

Bellamy stepped away from the wall before she passed him.

“Clarke,” he said, barely louder than a whisper.

She startled, her mind obviously preoccupied. She blinked several times as she realized who he was.

“Bellamy,” she replied in a small voice. She looked away, somewhere over his shoulder and folded her arms across herself. “I didn’t know you were in here.”

“Clarke,” he repeated, raising his hand to rest lightly at her elbow. Her eyes closed briefly. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’ve been avoiding me all week,” he replied. “What happened? What did I do?”

Clarke let out a breath and gently moved away from his touch.

“I can’t do this right now, Bellamy. I have to go.”

With that, she moved past him into the hallway, his gaze following her as she left. When he turned back to his friends’ table, Echo was watching him with a look he didn’t recognize. 

After a tense moment, she stood and made her way over to him. She paused in front of him for only a moment, touching his arm gently before following Clarke.

* * *

 

Clarke had been standing in the machine room for only a few minutes before Echo found her. 

“A good place to talk,” Echo said, “if you don’t want anyone to hear you.”

Clarke nodded, her arms crossed.

“Octavia doesn’t want you here,” she said.

“No,” Echo replied without missing a beat.

“I think we can help each other,” Clarke said after a moment.

Echo raised an eyebrow.

“I’m listening.”

“Diyoza’s smart. She knows that if she’s going to win this war, she needs information. More information than Kane or my mom can give her.”

“And you plan to give it to her,” Echo said. A statement, not a question.

“I do,” Clarke replied.

“What does this have to do with me?”

“In exchange, I’m going to ask for safe passage into and out of Shallow Valley. For Madi and for me.”

“And for Bellamy,” Echo added, seeing right through her.

Clarke nodded.

“If you agree to help me, I’ll include you, too.”

“Help you with what?”

“Gaia and Octavia want to make Madi a novitiate.”

For the first time since entering the room, Echo looked shocked. Clarke continued.

“Madi’s not going to object, not when it’s Octavia that’s offering. I’m not gonna let that happen.”

“You need to get her out,” Echo said, understanding. Clarke nodded.

“I can’t stay in Shallow Valley. Not if I’m helping Diyoza like she’ll want. And Bellamy isn’t going to leave Octavia until he’s forced to.”

“So what do you need me to do?” Echo asked.

“Protect her,” Clarke said, feeling the desperation entering her voice. “Help me get her out of here, and protect her.”

“You would trust me with her?” Echo asked, confusion written across her forehead.

“No,” Clarke replied honestly. “But Bellamy trusts you. And I trust him.”

After a moment, Echo nodded.

“Okay. I’m in.”

“Really?” 

“It’s only a matter of time before Octavia kills me, one way or another,” Echo said. “Not even Bellamy can stop that, as much as he believes otherwise. And I owe you.”

“No,” Clarke replied. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I do,” Echo insisted. “I don’t blame you for not trusting me, not after what I’ve done. But you still saved me. You stopped Murphy from taking my helmet. You stayed here to make sure we survived, even though it would mean your own death. You convinced Octavia to let me stay here this long. I owe you,  _ Wanheda. _ ”

For the first time, the title wasn’t an insult. It was reverent. 

Echo offered her arm. Clarke hesitated for a moment, then clasped her hand around the other woman’s forearm, a united front.

Clarke turned to leave.

“Clarke,” Echo called out behind her. 

She turned.

“You love him,” Echo continued. It wasn’t a question.

Clarke saw no point in lying. She nodded. “So do you.”

Echo took a step forward.

“I do,” she replied. 

A moment passed while Echo calculated what to say.

“I was trained as a spy since the moment I learned to walk,” she began. “I see everything. Even the things I don’t want to.”

The women locked eyes. She continued.

“His heart was yours long before it was mine. Maybe it never was. Either way, as soon as your girl told him you were alive, it became yours again. It’s written all over him.” 

Clarke shook her head. “I’m not going to get in the way.”

Echo smiled sadly. “Not intentionally. But you always were.”

“I just want him to be happy,” Clarke said, her voice cracking.

“So do I,” Echo replied. “And maybe I was enough for him up there. But, Clarke, I watched as he grieved for you, and I watched him this past week when you tried to distance yourself. There’s little difference. And I have no interest in making either of you miserable.”

“Echo… he loves you.”

“He does. But not enough,” Echo said, a determined look in her eyes. “He would die for you, Clarke, yes. But he would also live for you. Ensure that you aren’t forgotten. Carry your legacy on his shoulders. And he did. He did all of that for you. I’ve never loved anyone like that. We all deserve better than what’s happening now. I’m simply putting things into motion.”

Clarke stood there, completely unsure of what she was feeling.

“Now let’s get moving. We have a little girl to save.”

* * *

 

Two days had passed. Bellamy hadn’t seen Clarke at all. He would have assumed she was avoiding him, but the rover was gone, too. He didn’t even think Madi knew where she was this time. 

Bellamy chose to skip dinner. He was in too bad a mood to make pleasant conversation. When Bellamy entered the room he and his friends had been given to sleep in, Echo was already there. Packing. Bellamy’s brows scrunched together.

“Where are you going?”

“On a mission,” she said, her focus entirely on her pack.

“That’s not an answer,” Bellamy said.

“No, it isn’t,” Echo replied.   
“Echo.”

She sighed, zipping the backpack.

“Things have changed,” she said, finally meeting his eyes.

“Oh, you think?” Bellamy said sarcastically, gesturing around them.

“Between us, Bellamy,” Echo replied, not rising to the bait.

“I don’t understand.”

“Yes, you do,” she said, with an unnerving certainty. 

“What’s going on?” Bellamy asked again. 

“Octavia’s going to kill me. And if you try to stop her, she’ll kill you, too. I’m leaving before that happens.”

“Echo,” he said, rubbing his hands up and down her arms soothingly. “Octavia isn’t going to do anything.”

She pulled away. “Don’t be naive, Bellamy. She would’ve killed me the moment I set foot in this bunker if not for Clarke.”

He sighed. She continued before he could respond.

“Whatever we had on the Ring… that’s gone. We both know that. So do us all a favor and don’t pretend like nothing’s different.”

“I just don’t know—”

“And stop lying to yourself,” Echo interrupted. She hitched the strap of her pack over her shoulder. “I have to go.”

“So, what?” he asked. “You’re just gonna… walk through that desert? Sandstorms? And go where?”

“The plan is already in motion.”

“Plan? What plan?”

Four rhythmic knocks came from the closed door. Echo didn’t answer him. She moved by him, opening the door to Monty standing outside.

“It’s time,” he announced and started down the hallway. Echo followed without a glance backward. Bellamy followed as well, keeping pace but not daring to say anything for fear of raising suspicion.

He followed them out of the bunker and into the night, through several twisting streets of Polis, only stopping when he saw the rover, headlights illuminating the precarious piles of debris surrounding them. Monty stopped next to him.

The rover’s door opened and Echo continued forward. Clarke jumped out and met Echo in the middle. 

“Where is she?” Clarke asked quietly, a little out of breath.

“She’ll be here any minute, we didn’t want to leave at the same time,” Echo replied. Clarke nodded.

Monty whistled, quick and efficient, as two more figures emerged from the darkness. Harper and Madi.

As soon as Madi saw Clarke, she ran for her, Clarke catching her in a hug. Bellamy looked on, confused, as Clarke whispered in the girl’s ear. 

Madi backed away when Clarke did, nodding seriously. 

“Promise me,” Bellamy heard Clarke whisper. 

“I promise,” she replied. 

Clarke stood then, turning her attention to Echo. She handed her a radio—an  _ Eligius _ radio. 

“I have one with me, too. Madi knows a code to use since they’ll be listening.”

Echo nodded seriously. “Stay safe,  _ Wanheda _ .”

“You too.”

Echo nodded again, then moved, following Madi to the rover and hopping in the passenger’s seat. 

Bellamy turned to Monty and Harper.

“You knew about this?”

* * *

 

Clarke watched, her heart breaking a little, as Madi and Echo drove off, the light from the rover vanishing as they turned a corner.

When she refocused, she heard Bellamy’s shocked voice questioning Monty and Harper. 

“I asked for their help,” Clarke said. She hadn’t said it loudly, but her statement still cut through the air like a knife. Bellamy stared at her. She continued.

“I had to get Madi out of there, Bellamy. She wasn’t safe.”

Bellamy took a few steps toward her. Sensing the coming argument, Monty and Harper took the opportunity to retreat back to the bunker.

“Why didn’t you ask  _ me _ ?” Bellamy asked, his voice breaking.

“I…” Clarke’s own voice betrayed her. “You wouldn’t have agreed to the price.”

“You don’t know what I would’ve agreed to,” Bellamy replied.

“You would’ve agreed to spy on your sister? For Diyoza?” Clarke asked, calling his bluff.

“ _ What? _ ” Bellamy said, barely louder than a whisper. “Clarke, if Octavia finds out, she’ll  _ kill _ you.”

“I know,” Clarke said, resolute. 

Bellamy let out a breath, running his hand over his face. Clarke sighed, annoyed now.

“What else should I have done, Bellamy?”

“ _ You should have talked to me! _ We could’ve figured something out  _ together _ like we always do!” Bellamy didn’t bother to keep his voice down anymore. Neither did Clarke.

“ _ I did talk to you! _ ” Clarke yelled back, her voice filled with all the emotion she’d been keeping in for years. “ _ For six years, I talked to you! _ ” As soon as the words left, her hand clapped over her mouth. 

Bellamy stared at her for what felt like hours, unblinking, his mouth half open.

“What?” 

Clarke sat down on what had probably been a column, the strength to stand leaving her. She stared at the cobblestone beneath her feet.

“You asked me how I did it,” Clarke said, monotone. “How I survived alone. I talked to you.”

“You talked to me,” Bellamy repeated.

“You kept me alive,” she said, looking up at him. 

“I kept…” Bellamy fell to his knees in front of her, so they were face to face. “I  _ left _ you.”

Clarke nodded. “And I’m proud of you for that.”

Bellamy blinked once. Twice. “You’re…”

“Proud of you,” Clarke repeated.

Bellamy stared at her some more, almost like he didn’t believe she was there. She looked down at her hands. 

“Clarke…” he said, reaching over and gently pressing his fingers against hers. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

She felt a tear fall down her cheek. 

“I’m terrified,” she finally replied, closing her eyes.

“Of what?” 

“Of telling you I love you and then losing you again.”

She heard him take a sharp breath and then felt his hand on her cheek. She nuzzled into him reflexively. He pressed his forehead against hers.

“Me too.”

When she opened her eyes again, he was already looking at her. Not the Bellamy that came down from space a week ago. The Bellamy she remembered from before.  _ Her _ Bellamy.

He gently wiped a tear from her face with his thumb. 

“We have time,” she whispered.

“We have time,” he repeated.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone wondered about the moments not shown in the first part and by Wild Coincidence (my inability to stop writing angst) i actually had part of it written and just didn't include it in the original one shot. so i edited it and added about 2,000 words and voila! chapter two from clarke's pov enjoy
> 
> in case it's unclear, these moments happen between segments in chapter one

Clarke sat on the hood of the rover just as she had that morning a week ago. It felt more like a lifetime.

She hadn’t gone far. She’d driven the rover only ten minutes into the wasteland outside what used to be Polis before stopping. Now she watched as the sun climbed over the horizon, bathing the burnt landscape with a grimy yellow hue. 

She stared straight ahead as she raised the radio receiver in front of her face and tears gathered in her eyes. 

“Bellamy,” she whispered, barely hearing herself. “It’s been two thousand, two hundred and seven days since Praimfaya. And everything’s changed.”

A tear ran down her cheek when she blinked. She didn’t feel it.

“I don’t know why I assumed… I never thought it would hurt so much to be dead.” 

She shook her head. 

“You had so much hope that day. More than I did. I know it’s stupid, but I thought that maybe you… But you didn’t. You thought I was dead. And I don’t blame you for that.”

She paused, wiping the wetness from her face. 

“It hurts to look at you now. It hurts to talk to you. But I can’t just pretend that everything’s the same as it was back then, because it’s not. I know what I feel now, and I… You’re happy.”

She smiled sadly to herself.

“That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. To know how important you are. To be happy. And I can’t… I won’t…”

She shook her head again.

“I love you too much to get in the way of that.”

Her hand dropped to her lap as she watched the sun slowly creep higher, more tears falling. 

The words she wanted to say had been said. It didn’t matter if he heard them. Not anymore. The calls had always been for her, the one selfish indulgence she allowed herself. 

Madi had always known not to disturb her when she was calling home. Calling him. Just like Clarke knew not to disturb Madi when she sat alone in the room with the hole in the floor. 

For Madi, it was a way of memorialising her parents. Clarke hadn’t told her the details of what had happened to Aden and the others after Lexa’s death, but she was a clever kid. She knew how to read between the lines. She knew that if she hadn’t been hidden under the floor, she’d be dead with the rest of them. 

For Clarke, the time she spent alone with her radio was when she allowed herself to express the emotions she didn’t want to burden Madi with. Her grief. Her heartache. Her loneliness. Because no, she wasn’t alone. But having a child was nowhere near the same thing as having a friend. A partner. For that, she called the one person that had always been there for her, since the moment they had first set foot on the ground. 

When Clarke called him, she let herself be her most vulnerable. She aired her ugliest emotions. The feelings she didn’t want anyone else to see, for one reason or another.

Now, in this increasingly rare moment of isolation, she embraced the selfish rage that had been building for days. 

“Why is it always me?” she whispered, tears blurring her vision. She didn’t speak into the radio. She didn’t have to. “Why am I  _ always _ the one who has to be left behind?”

A sob ripped through her chest then, surprising her. She dropped the receiver and pulled her foot back, kicking the radio into the dirt. It landed with a crunch that would’ve been satisfying if it didn’t mean it had broken. For some reason that just made her cry harder. 

She pulled her knees up to her chest, sobs wracking her body. Her next words fought their way from her throat, cracked and barely audible to her own ears in the hot wind.

“When do I get to be happy?”

* * *

When she had finally pulled herself together, Clarke made her way back to the bunker, her stomach grumbling. She passed the sparring room and found Madi on her back, sword several feet away. 

Octavia stood over her, her own blade inches from Madi’s face. 

Clarke didn’t hesitate. 

She stepped inside, ripped a sword from the wall, and held it to Octavia’s throat.

The Red Queen turned her head slowly, a disquieting smile on her face.

“Relax, Clarke,” she said, her voice frighteningly calm. She lowered her blade to her side. “I’m just showing Madi how to defend herself.”

Clarke kept her sword exactly where it was.

“She knows how to defend herself.”

Madi looked between the two women with wide eyes.

“Of course she does,” Octavia replied. “I expect no less from a child you raised. You know better than anyone how cruel this world can be.”

Clarke’s expression didn’t waver. Octavia continued.

“But as my novitiate, she’ll need to be better.”

“Really?” Madi asked, smiling wide.

“No,” Clarke replied, her voice like hardened steel.

Octavia’s eyes twitched at her defiance, but her smile remained.

“I’ll give you a few days to think over your answer.”

“You already have my answer.”

Octavia turned to Clarke fully then, taking a step forward. The blade lightly sliced the side of her throat, a thin trickle of red sliding down her neck.

“You’re running out of favors,  _ Wanheda _ .”

Clarke didn’t reply, except to move her arm to not injure Octavia any further.

“What  _ did _ Echo do to earn that glowing endorsement of yours? Don’t tell me you forgave her, just like that,” Octavia said. For the first time since the girl had hugged Bellamy, Clarke saw the Octavia she knew. But only for a moment, before the mask slid back on. Clarke scoffed.

“That wasn’t about forgiveness.”

“No? Then what was it about?” Octavia asked, a brow raised. 

“Unlike you, I don’t want to see Bellamy hurt.”

Rage rose to Octavia’s face. “Hurt? That  _ murderer _ shoved a sword through my stomach!”

“I know,” Clarke replied, calm. “I’m the one that saved your life.”

“She pushed me off a cliff into a damn river!”

“And she almost slit my throat and chopped of my head,” Clarke said, taking a step forward and pressing the sword at Octavia’s throat a little harder.

“And yet you defend her,” Octavia growled, raising her chin by a fraction.

“And yet,” Clarke repeated. “I defend her.”

“Why?” Octavia asked. “She doesn’t deserve it.”

“Because even after losing Lincoln, even after knowing how that feels, you would try to take away someone your brother loves.”

Octavia sneered at her. “If I really wanted to do that, I would hurt you.”

Clarke tried not to let herself flinch. “I’m extending the terms of our deal.”

“I didn’t agree to that,” Octavia barked back.

“No,” Clarke replied quietly. “But you will, because you need me. I know the signs of dissent as well as you do, and it’s everywhere in this bunker.”

“I don’t need  _ you _ ,” Octavia argued.

“Maybe, maybe not. But you need the Commander of Death,” Clarke continued. 

“I have no need for  _ Wanheda _ , I have  _ Wonkru _ .”

“You built  _ Wonkru _ on the very  _ foundations _ of death,” Clarke said. “You honor it. You worship it.”

“ _ Wonkru _ is loyal to me,” Octavia hissed.

“Are they?” Clarke asked. “Your hydrofarm will only last so long. Diyoza is already banking on that. Do you really think everyone in this bunker forgot the way things were on the ground? In six years?”

“ _ Yes _ .”

“And you think that loyalty will survive when I remind them of  _ Wanheda _ ? The Commander of Death with black blood, one of the lone survivors of  _ Praimfaya _ , who spent the past six years in the only paradise left on Earth?”

Octavia remained silent.

“You don’t wear your red warpaint as armor. You wear it as a mask.”

“What do you want?” Octavia asked, her eyes hard.

“In addition to letting Echo stay in the bunker? You don’t talk to Madi. You don’t touch Madi. You don’t use Madi. You don’t go anywhere near Madi unless I know about it first.”

“And in return.”

“Remind them of  _ Wanheda _ ,” Clarke said, “and I’ll bow before you.”

“Bow before me as  _ Wanheda _ and I’ll bring Madi under my protection as a novitiate,” Octavia countered.

“You were going to do that anyway.”

“Except if you bow before me, you solidify  _ Wonkru’s _ allegiance. Madi will be safer than ever behind a unified army.”

Clarke paused for a moment, then lowered her blade.

“Fine.”

“Good,” Octavia nodded once. She looked behind her to Madi, now standing. “Same time tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Madi replied in a small voice. 

Octavia swept from the room, her cape billowing behind her. As soon as she was out of sight, Clarke let the sword clatter to the floor and rushed over to her daughter. 

“Are you alright?” she asked, checking over her with a doctor’s eye. 

Madi nodded.

“Clarke, are you really gonna bow to her?”

“Of course not,” Clarke said, lowering her voice. 

“Then what are you gonna do?”

Clarke paused for a moment, brows furrowing.

“I’ll figure it out.”

* * *

Eating with Monty and Harper still felt weird after all this time. Clarke was only half-invested in the conversation, her mind still going a mile a minute to try and think of how to get Madi the hell out of the bunker.

Clarke was laughing at a joke Monty made about Unity Day being a hell of a lot crappier with only algae moonshine when a tray was placed at the seat across from her.

“Clarke?” a slightly hesitant voice said.

She looked up and her heart lurched when she saw Echo looking back down at her.

“Can I… sit with you?”

Clarke stiffened for a moment, the genuine question catching her off guard. A dark part of her wished the spy wasn’t trying so damn hard. It would ease the guilt that her hidden resentment presented. It would justify what the petty part of her wished she could do. Say no. Make her friends choose. Refuse to make yet another sacrifice.

Instead she nodded, pasting a smile on her face. 

The tension at the table eased, but the knot inside her heart remained. 

A moment passed, allowing Clarke to collect herself before she went back to her meal. Unfamiliar fingers on her wrist stopped her, and before she could think, her right hand slid across her abdomen to the hilt of her hunting knife. Her eyes shot up to meet Echo’s gaze. 

“Thank you,” the spy whispered, her eyes watering. “Thank you for saving me.”

Clarke’s hand dropped from her knife. She blinked at the woman across from her. Her heart pulled again with guilt. Then Echo spoke again.

“Thank you for saving Bellamy. We never would’ve found each other without you.”

Clarke took a shaky breath, her eyes instantly filling with tears she couldn’t prevent. She didn’t dare look at Monty or Harper, terrified of the pity she knew she’d find in their faces. They knew. There’s no way they didn’t know now. Maybe they always had. 

“If there’s anything I can do…” the spy let the sentence trail off.

She gathered the strength to look Echo in the eye again where she found a look she didn’t recognize. She didn’t let herself evaluate it further. 

Clarke forced another fake smile and nodded, pulling her arm away from Echo’s grasp, willing herself not to break down right then and there.  _ It’s always me _ .

She stood then, and began to walk away before the spy’s words sank in, her heartache taking a backseat to her racing mind.

Clarke turned back, stopping at Echo’s side. 

“There is something you can do.”

Echo looked up at her with furrowed brows.

“Give me sixty seconds, then follow me.”

The spy took her in for a moment, then nodded, no questions asked. Good.

* * *

Diyoza had been far more agreeable than Clarke anticipated, especially after she’d learned about the grounders’ obsession with  _ Wanheda _ and her power and the vulnerability that nightblood presented to Octavia’s reign. It hadn’t taken much to convince her that Clarke had far more valuable information than Kane or Abby combined. 

Telling Diyoza about  _ Wanheda _ , however, meant telling her about what she’d had to do to earn it. When Clarke had finished telling her about Mount Weather, Diyoza just quirked an eyebrow, smirked, and raised her glass of tequila in a toast.

“To the Mountain Slayer and her boyfriend.”

* * *

Clarke and Bellamy reentered the bunker together.

“You don’t have to—” Bellamy started quietly, the back of his hand brushing hers as they walked.

“Yes, I do,” she interrupted. “It’s the only way to keep Madi safe.”

He looked up and down the hallway before placing a hand on the small of her back and guiding them both into the now-vacant sparring room. He closed the door behind them.

“Clarke,” he began, looking down at her with gentle eyes. “I can’t lose you again. I’m not strong enough for that.”

She sighed. “Bellamy—”

“I know. I know you have to protect Madi. But you don’t have to do it alone.”

“I…,” Clarke’s lips parted in surprise. “I can’t ask you to do that, Bellamy. I can’t ask you to betray your sister.”

“You’re not. I’m offering,” he said with a hint of a sad smile. “You’re not alone anymore, Clarke. Let me help you. Please.”

Clarke looked down to entwine her fingers with his. 

She looked back up with a small smile of her own. “Together?”

He nodded. “Together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i may or may not have been (i absolutely was) sobbing hysterically while writing clarke's radio scene so i sincerely hope i made all of you cry as well thank you and goodnight

**Author's Note:**

> comments feed my family  
> also this is unbetaed because i'm impatient
> 
> come visit me on tumblr at fen-ha-fuck-you if you want


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